


and what are you made of?

by nausicaa_of_phaeacia



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Angst, Daisy-centric, Drama, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Extremis (Marvel), F/M, Friendship, GH-325, Infinity Formula, Matter of Life and Death, Post-Season/Series 05 Finale, Project Centipede (Marvel), Research, Science, Tahiti (Agents of SHIELD), True Love, Vibranium (Marvel), ha, how to save Coulson's life?, mention of Bruce/Natasha, mention of Coulson's terminal condition, mention of Hive
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-10
Updated: 2019-02-10
Packaged: 2019-10-25 09:21:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,335
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17722484
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nausicaa_of_phaeacia/pseuds/nausicaa_of_phaeacia
Summary: Daisy makes an attempt to save Coulson's life.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [zauberer_sirin](https://archiveofourown.org/users/zauberer_sirin/gifts), [Skyepilot](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Skyepilot/gifts).
  * Inspired by [this fanvid](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/455642) by zauberer_sirin. 



> For zauberer_sirin and Skyepilot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hoo boy, I don't know what to tell you. I'm spending my days sneezing and administering nose drops to the red something that was once, in fact, my nose. Maybe that's why I'm coming up with this stuff, so please forgive me.
> 
> I'm not sure what this is going to be, but it's going to be chaptered. _Ah, cruda sorte._. (You know how much patience I normally have. But I promise to finish it.)

It’s been weeks and weeks. Thirty-seven days, to be exact. Daisy has been feeling more and more like an LMD of herself. Their mission has been going quite successfully; there are several intergalactically renowned scientists involved, and Daisy knows there isn’t anything else she can do to help. Of course, she’s been needed here and there, and she feels like there is a moral obligation for her to stay around, especially for Mack’s sake who has been relying on her as a valuable second opinion in several decisions (okay, third opinion besides Elena, obviously). 

Even though she’s made herself useful as much as she can – and oh boy, she can, she can’t sleep too well as it is – Daisy doesn’t succeed at trying to drive away this emptiness. It’s not really a mystery what’s causing it; so many people have died in the course of the past year, May’s gone, but most importantly – Coulson isn’t around. And he won’t be around ever again, as far as she knows. It scares her more than anything else: to know that one day soon, Coulson won’t be there all of a sudden. 

That night, as she pretends to be trying to get some sleep, she makes a decision. It is one she’s been afraid to make all this time, and it seems very selfish to make it now, but she tells herself she must make this one attempt to save Coulson. If he wants to be saved, that is. In a hurry, she throws together some things to take with her in a bag, haphazardly ties her shoes, and she runs, runs straight to the hangar. She sends Mack a text while she’s already starting the jet. It simply says, _I’m sorry. I’ll be back._

She calls in a few favours to learn where Banner is; it doesn’t take too long to find out he’s retreated to Vienna. It takes her but a few hours to get there; she lands the jet somewhere in the 14th borough, hiding it between enough green that it doesn’t get discovered right away. Banner is staying further north, near the Danube canal, almost outside the city. 

She knocks on his door in the early evening. It takes an excruciatingly long time for him to open. When he does, it makes her smile to find him in a trademark purple shirt.  
„I don’t think we’ve met, Agent Johnson“, he says, just as she’s about to introduce herself. There’s the hint of a smile around his lips, and she’s glad.  
„That’s right. Hi, Dr Banner“, she says, because it seems alright to be this straightforward.  
He rubs his hair for a moment, then steps aside to invite her in.  
„Thanks“, Daisy mutters as she steps into the flat, sliding off her shoes by pushing her heels together. Banner motions for her to enter the slightly messy, yet warmly inviting living room.  
„Can I get you a coffee?“  
„That would be great“, she smiles, because that’s exactly what she needs after this trip. He makes some milk foam, explains how it’s such a Vienna thing to have so many types of coffee to choose from, how apple strudel is something holy here, and how any café that has nice waiters isn’t authentically Viennese. It makes her chuckle, and she’s grateful.

As they’re sipping their coffee on the sofa, she starts to explain, and while she’s trying her best to stay professional and keep it together, she can’t help it, she’s been emotional ever since Coulson left. Ever since he’s told them about the deal he’d made with Ghost Rider, ever since she’d found the Centipede vial in her gauntlet.  
„That sounds very emotionally taxing“, Banner says, for lack of anything more eloquent to tell her, but she nods, thankful for the empathy. „How can I help?“  
Daisy rummages in her bag, fishes out a small and irregular square of anthracite fabric, explains how it’s a piece from Sinara’s suit she took on a whim when defeating her.  
Her voice is trembling. „I don’t know why I thought I should take it. I mean we’ve known for a long time how Kree blood has certain healing qualities. But I don’t think I was actually thinking about Coulson back then, I didn’t know. It was just – I just thought maybe it could help save someone’s life.“  
She’s positively shaking, and Banner covers her hand with his, just for a moment, but it’s enough to allow her to take a deep breath.

He explains how Kree blood alone doesn’t work as a healing substance, and Daisy nods: she knows. She tells him about the GH-325, about what happened to Coulson in the first place, about Project T.A.H.I.T.I., about her GH injection, about the Odium Kasius drank in the end, about the Centipede serum. It’s a lot, and it sounds like a lot, but Banner has always been a close listener, calm and open. He nods.

„I know it wasn’t my place to tell you about Coulson being resurrected. But I figured you’d cared about him getting murdered in the first place, and after all, it’s still the wound Loki inflicted on his heart that’s killing him, so I thought ... I don’t know what I thought. Dr Banner, I don’t know why I’m telling you this. I guess I’m just hoping – I’m just hoping you’ll be able to think of something. You know, _anything_. I don’t think a final vacation on Tahiti cuts it. He’s deserved better. He’s done so much for so many people. He’s shown me my ... just, my spot in life, you know?“  
She swallows.  
„I just don’t think it’s fair. Especially not after everything he’s been through. He’s always put everyone else first. He didn’t even mention any of all this until it was absolutely necessary. He would just have – he would just have disappeared to die, you know?“

She sees Banner rub his hair, thinking.  
„And this Centipede serum – he didn’t want to take it?“  
„No, he hid it in my gauntlet“, Daisy half-whispers, tears in her eyes again. „He knew we’d need it to prevent an apocalypse. Besides, I don’t think he wanted to go through another ordeal to have his life prolonged again.“  
„What makes you think he’d take the opportunity this time?“, Banner asks, his voice soothingly calm.  
Daisy shrugs, a tear rolling down her cheek, pulling her sleeves down a tiny bit.  
„I’m not sure he would. But I know I wouldn’t be able to go on without offering him at least one option to stay.” She swallows. “It’s just what he would have done for me without even thinking about it.“  
Bruce nods. Love has a way of making people scrape together everything they have even the remotest control over to try and save that one person. He touches Daisy’s shoulder for a moment before getting up to open his desk drawer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for reading this mess! ♥
> 
> I'll be adding tags. The title is from the Killers' _Flesh and Bone_ , for which zauberer_sirin was so kind as to provide a fabulous Coulson fanvid a while ago (which is a cutting masterpiece, let me tell you). The song's been linked to these two in my mind since.
> 
> _What are you afraid of?_   
>  _And what are you made of? (Flesh and bone)_   
>  _And I'm running out of time (Flesh and bone)_   
>  _And what are you made of?_   
>  _Man, I'm turning on a dime._


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is just a short something about Banner and Daisy getting to know each other, I guess.

They’ve been planning for almost a week now. Banner has been unbelievably helpful and considerate, never pushing Daisy, just listening and providing support without expecting anything in return. They’ve come up with a draft of ingredients for a new kind of serum, drawing heavily on the Centipede and Tahiti experiments, with him calling in a few favours to gain more insight. 

He even calls Pepper Potts at one point, talking to her for almost two hours to make sure they haven’t missed anything relevant from the Extremis projects, and Daisy doesn’t really know anymore what to say at this point; she keeps thanking him, but his support means so much, it’s too huge for simple thank-yous to be sufficient anymore.

That’s how one morning, she gets up very early – earlier than she’s used to, but most importantly, earlier than Banner’s morning runs, even – to make some blueberry pancakes. It’s next to the only sweet thing she can make, but she figures it makes for a nice breakfast.  
When he gets back, reaching for the small towel he’d prepared next to the door, he stops in his tracks, smelling the pancakes. Incredulously, he walks into the kitchen, smiling cautiously.  
“You didn’t have to do that”, he says, softly.  
  
She didn’t hear him come in, turns around just a little too quickly, has to hold onto the kitchen counter for a moment; she looks flustered. A beat.  
“Do you like pancakes?”, she tries, a little shy, but with a tiny smile.  
“Love them, actually”, he replies, his voice warm, and she’s so relieved. He turns around to jump in the shower for two minutes, then returns in a Killers t-shirt and sweatpants, hair still a little damp. It makes him look private, almost vulnerable, and it’s what makes Daisy think that it’s probably all fine, that he probably considers her some sort of friend.

They eat in silence. When Daisy gets up to gather their empty plates, she makes a vague gesture. “Thank you, Dr Banner”, she says in a very small voice.  
He half-turns, briefly touching her arm. “Nothing to thank me for.”  
She smiles a little, nods, then reaches for the whipped cream bowl too. “I don’t know why you’re helping me. There’s nothing I can offer you in return.”  
He tuts. “It’s what I’m here for, Miss Johnson.”   
  
It sounds almost too serious, too honest, and Daisy knows it’s the truth. Things like this – helping others out without expecting anything in return – are what keeps him going, are probably the reason he’s still around. (Apart from Romanova, possibly – she’s heard some faint rumours.)  
“It’s Daisy”, she says, obviously shy, but there’s a smile in her voice as she walks out of the room.  
“Bruce”, he says as he joins her in the kitchen, inserts a tab into the dishwasher. They exchange a brief look, and that’s that.

In the evening, as they’re both sitting on the sofa, tired from all the research and brainstorming, she sees him get up to pick a book from the shelf.  
“You have good taste”, Daisy says, angling her head to read the titles in his collection.  
He’s surprised, as if that’s the first time anyone’s told him that. “Thank you. I’ve got more”, he makes a vague gesture.  
“I think I’ve seen some of them”, Daisy smiles. “You read a lot of Allende.”  
Bruce rubs his hair. “How –“  
“I saw them at the Retreat”, she says. 

“Oh.” He nods, then it hits him, because why would she be there? “I’m – I’m sorry”, he offers, and it’s touching, because it’s obvious that he understands. That he knows what sort of loneliness Daisy must have gone through.  
“Thank you. I – I had to learn how to come to terms with my ... powers.”  
He knows what she’s talking about. “I’ve heard that you’re – that that time was worth every minute”, he tries, gesturing at her hands. It’s a shy compliment, and she beams at him.  
  
“Want one?”, he asks, stepping back towards the shelf again. She nods, and he hands her _The House of the Spirits_. They pull their feet up onto the sofa, reading until there isn’t a sound to be heard outside.  
Walking up the stairs to the guest room, Daisy finally feels confident that they will come up with something. She’s glad she thought of knocking on Banner’s door even though she’d never met him in person. The only – but most important – huge question remaining is whether Coulson will agree to taking whatever concoction they come up with. It makes her tremble with worry, but it’s not something she can work on, it’s something she will have to leave to – fate? Chance? She will just have to focus on every aspect she can possibly influence.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Someone else might be able to help.

Two days later, Bruce wakes her for the first time since she’s here, about two hours early, bringing her a mug of coffee with a splash of milk.  
“Hey, everything okay?”, Daisy asks, still a little confused from sleeping.  
“Yeah. Sorry for waking you so early. I reached out to a friend for help with the formula.”  
Daisy immediately sits up at that.  
“Do I know them?”  
“I don’t think you’ve met”, Bruce replies, and there’s a smirk. If it weren’t so early, if she weren’t optimistic about what he just said, it would probably make her cry. It reminds her of Coulson's smirk too much.

“You okay?” He seems genuinely worried, sits down on the chair next to the bed. Daisy takes a careful sip of the pleasingly warm coffee.  
“Yeah. Sorry. It’s just ... all of this is such a long shot, and I don’t know if Coulson is even going to want to try whatever we come up with. I mean ... obviously, there was a greater good last time he had a choice, but I’m not sure he’d want to go through such a painful process again.”  
She’s surprised that she isn’t crying yet. Maybe it’s because Bruce is sitting next to her, maybe it’s because she wouldn’t want to spill the coffee.

There is a moment of silence, and Daisy wonders if it’s an uncomfortable silence. Bruce seems to be thinking about something, so she takes a few more sips.  
“Have you –“  
“What?”  
Bruce rubs his hair. “Does he know?”  
“About this Hail Mary? No, of course not.”  
He swallows. “No, I mean – Does he know you love him?”  
  
It takes her by surprise. She almost replies immediately, then thinks about it for a minute. It’s not use denying it. She should have known Bruce would know. But then again, she wasn’t sure she was even aware of it herself before he said it just now.  
It takes her a moment to respond. “I don’t think so. I don’t think _I_ knew.”  
There is an almost-smile on Bruce’s face.  
“That’s how it usually happens”, he says, his voice very calm, and it makes her smile a little.

She finishes her coffee, and he stands up, taking the mug.  
“We’ll need to be out of here in about twenty minutes, is that okay?”  
Daisy nods. Of course. Anything is okay because she trusts Banner. 

They take a taxi out of the city, stop next to a wheat field. Daisy looks a little confused as Bruce pays the driver.  
“Just a moment,” he says. Then Daisy hears it, a helicopter arriving. She thinks they could have taken the jet she’s hidden, but then again, there’s probably a reason for this. Secret coordinates, maybe.  
The helicopter lands nearby, and following a look from Bruce, Daisy picks up her bag, running after him towards the noise. He lets her get in first, shielding his eyes under the propeller.  
She’s up there and on a seat in just a moment, then freezes as soon as she sees who they will be travelling with. 

It’s Shuri. Legendary Wakandan princess Shuri. Genius Shuri. The only person Daisy has ever come close to fangirling about (if you forget about her Rising Tide undercover backstory to get into the Stark Tower). She doesn’t know what to say, is unable to say a word.  
Banner gets in, sits beside her, takes Shuri’s hand in both of his as a greeting before he gestures at Daisy’s safety belt. Right.  
Shuri smiles at Daisy, lightly taps her headphones. Daisy puts hers on, still overwhelmed.  
“Hi”, Shuri says. “Nice to finally meet you.”

Daisy can’t believe it. Shuri has actually heard of her. Shocked, she looks at Bruce, who smiles knowingly.  
“Wow”, Daisy manages, then beams at Shuri. “Honestly, I’m overwhelmed. I don’t know what to say.”  
“I’ve found that ‘hi’ almost always works”, the princess giggles. Daisy suspects she might be blushing a little.  
“Hi”, she mumbles, very pleased. 

They fly for about an hour, Shuri describing what she’s found in her recent research, mentioning the Winter Soldier, the Infinity Formula, Fury. Daisy is fascinated at how effortlessly Shuri manages to explain everything so clearly and simply, it’s so easy to follow her even though she’s talking about things it no doubt took years to get familiar with and an expert in.  
Their eyes meet, Shuri smiling at Daisy’s expression.  
“Whoops. Sorry, pure admiration,” Daisy gestures vaguely at her face. It makes all three of them laugh.

“So, you’ve added vibranium particles, is that right?”, Daisy enquires as they’re getting off the helicopter. They’ve landed in a village much further up the Danube. It seems incredibly peaceful, and Daisy realizes she now understands why Bruce prefers to be outside the city. It’s not just because he still worries about other people’s security when they’re around him. This landscape oozes peace and calm, and she takes a deep breath.  
Shuri closes the helicopter doors, waving at the pilot.  
“Yes, that’s basically it. And a few other tweaks”, she says, winking at Daisy who suspects she’s probably blushing again.  
  
“With your drafts, I think we may come up with something solid in two or three days”, Shuri continues as they follow her to a small house at the end of a narrow path.  
Daisy’s so happy to hear this she could hug Shuri for her words. Bruce must have read her like a book, because he puts an arm around her shoulder as they’re walking through the fields. Daisy briefly raises her free hand to cover his to show him she appreciates it.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More research.

Time flies at the small village house. Shuri is swirling through the makeshift lab, making Daisy laugh every now and then with a small joke until her cheeks hurt. She’d almost forgotten what that feels like. She doesn’t think she’s ever laughed this much in a day since Coulson left. 

Obviously, Shuri is the one among the three of them who comes up with the most ideas, her knowledge baffling Daisy again and again; Shuri’s so young, and Daisy keeps wondering who she’s going to become when she gets her age. They keep adjusting the formula, Banner sneaking into the forest every now and then to see what it does do the small field mouses the eagles leave behind to die. 

“I just wish we had more GH-325 left”, Shuri says in the evening. “The blood sample you collected from Sinara is great, but I wish we had more of the experimental substance to test on.”  
Daisy rolls up her sleeve, putting her arm on the table, palm up.  
“You’re not serious”, Shuri says, but Daisy doesn’t say anything. That’s when Bruce enters the room, instantly seeing what this is about. He puts a hand on Daisy’s suddenly trembling shoulder, exchanges a look with Shuri.  
  
“Are you sure?”, Shuri says.  
Daisy just nods, rolls up her sleeve even further.  
“Okay”, Bruce finally says, reaches for his bag to get gloves and a needle.  
“Thank you”, Daisy whispers.

It doesn’t take long, it’s just for three little vials, but Daisy feels very weak, very defeated after Banner draws her blood.  
“Are you okay?”, he asks, and she nods, but there’s something in her frown.  
Shuri picks up the vials, goes to the adjoining room to test the blood and analyse Daisy’s DNA. 

“You’ve done this before, haven’t you?”, Bruce whispers softly.  
Daisy suddenly looks at him. “Yeah. A colleague tested my blood when I became – when we found out I was Inhuman.”  
“I – That sounds familiar”, Banner says, and she’s grateful that he understands. “But that wasn’t the only time, right?”

Daisy swallows, thinks of Hive, then slowly shakes her head. “No. There was another time. But it wasn’t – I couldn’t give consent then”, she manages.  
“I’m sorry.”  
Bruce sits down on the chair next to her, then after a moment, gives her a very warm hug. A bear hug. One of those hugs that you don’t really want to get out of. He doesn’t let go until her shoulders have stopped trembling.

“Thank you”, Daisy whispers, wiping away her tears with her sleeve.  
That’s when Shuri returns, a curious look on her face. “I’ve got news.”  
  
They gather around the table as Shuri explains. She’s got a theory that the addition of a small amount of Daisy’s blood would solve the problem they’ve had with the formula. It seems that when blood from two different Kree individuals merges, the properties of their DNA change. She’s also discovered that Daisy’s own Inhuman DNA has had an effect on the GH-325 she was injected with.

Long story short, it looks as if Daisy’s Inhuman DNA, containing a small amount of the Kree GH-325, could alter the serum extracted from Sinara’s blood. Add what they’ve learned from the different DNA experiments from secret projects and Shuri’s previous experiences with fixing broken white boys – it might work. It might actually work. Coulson’s cells might actually get restored without causing them to mutate or the formula damaging his brain. Thanks to Pepper’s information concerning Extremis, they could probably even avoid putting Coulson through any kind of pain. 

Daisy can’t help it, as soon as she realizes what Shuri is saying, she starts to cry again. “I’m sorry”, she says, sounding a tiny bit amused. “I keep doing this.”  
Shuri takes her hand. “He means that much to you, doesn’t he.”  
Daisy nods. “I don’t – I didn’t really know it until recently.”  
  
“Well, you know now”, Shuri offers. “That’s the important part.”

The next morning, Bruce, who hasn’t joined them for breakfast, enters the kitchen, hiding something in his hands.  
“What is it?”, Shuri asks, audibly amused.  
He opens his hands a tiny bit, and Daisy can’t believe her eyes. His fingers reveal a tiny nose, tiny ears. It’s a field mouse, sniffing his skin.  
“Can I hold it?”, Daisy whispers, and Bruce carefully hands her the small mouse, making sure the little thing doesn’t get scared. Daisy holds it as if it’s the most precious thing in the whole world.   
Shuri nods at Banner appreciatively, hands him a mug of coffee.

They leave a few hours later, Shuri’s called for the helicopter to take them back to Vienna. As they’re waiting for it to land, Daisy can’t help herself, she hugs Shuri tight. “Thank you,” she says to the princess’ shoulder. “I don’t know what I would have done without you.”

They pull apart. “Thank you for flying here”, Daisy adds, feeling guilty.  
Shuri immediately picks up on it. “Oh, don’t worry,” she says in a cheerful voice, “Dr Banner owes me _two_ favours now. Isn’t that right, Bruce?”  
He nods, smiling.   
“Besides, I’ve never been to Vienna, so I know what I’ll be doing for the weekend”, Shuri says, and Daisy is overwhelmed by her kindness.  
Bruce leans over to hug Shuri goodbye. “Thank you”, he says, and Daisy understands that somehow, this means a lot to him as well. 

In the evening, he accompanies her to the 14th borough, tells the taxi driver to wait a few minutes for him to get back as he walks Daisy to the jet.  
Daisy touches her hand to the panel next to the door, and it opens slowly. She lets her bag drop to the ground.  
“I don’t know what to say.”  
“Daisy, don’t be silly. It was an honour to meet you. I really hope everything works out”, he says, then reaches into his own bag.  
“Here”, he says, handing her a book. She recognizes it instantly; it’s _The House of the Spirits_.

“I can’t accept that!”, she exlaims. “It’s one of your favourites.”  
“I know how much you like it”, he smiles. “Give my greetings to Coulson. It’s one of his favourites as well.”  
“Thank you”, Daisy says, surprised. “That’s really kind.”

Bruce takes a step forward, and Daisy feels like this is going to be an awkward goodbye, but he simply hugs her.  
“Take care, Daisy”, he says, and she knows it means more than just that. She feels understood.   
“You too”, she replies, putting her hand on his shoulder for a moment before she picks up her bag and boards the jet.  
She sees him hurry back to the taxi.

Before she starts the engine, she checks her bag. Everything’s there: her stuff, the vials, a few snacks, a blanket. When she adds the Allende, she notices a small lidded basket. Very carefully, she lifts the lid, just an inch, but she already knows, smiling at the tiny field mouse. “Thank you”, she whispers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> what are TENSES idek anymore, sorry


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Daisy flies to Tahiti.  
> This one's short.

The flight to Tahiti feels like it’s taking much too long. Daisy feels very relieved when she finally sees the beach whose coordinates she’d entered into the navigation system.  
She carefully lands in the sand, takes a deep breath when the engine’s stopped. Briefly, she closes her eyes, trying to collect all her strength for what she needs to do now. She’s only got one shot at this. Very carefully, she closes her bag over the tiny basket, takes off her jacket and ties it to one of the handles.

Another deep sigh, then she leaves, locks the jet behind her. The warm weather seems so surreal; it seems to be in contrast with what she feels.   
She takes of her ballerinas, takes a moment to bury her toes in the sand, feeling her heart beat in her throat. But there’s no way around it. She can’t go on without Coulson.

Daisy makes her way over to the small beach house she sees at the horizon. It doesn’t take too long; it would take her even less if it wasn’t for the soft sand slowing her pace.   
She sets down her bag next to the door, hesitates for a moment, then knocks on the door.  
It’s May who opens.  
“Daisy”, she says, smiling. They look at each other for a moment before they hug. May seems very pleasantly surprised to see a friend.

“Come in”, she says, picking up Daisy’s bag, carefully placing it on a wooden bench in the living room.   
“How nice.” Daisy looks around. “Perfect.”  
“Coulson chose it”, May explains. “He’s always wanted to live in a beach house.”  
May doesn’t mean to make it sound sad, but it brings tears to Daisy eyes. She has to blink several times to will them away.  
“Is he here?”

“He went for a walk”, May explains as she puts up the kettle. “But you’ve got great timing. He said only yesterday that he wished he could talk to you one last time.”  
The finality of it scares Daisy. “How much time does he have left?”  
“We’re not sure. But from the looks of it, it could be anything from a few days to a week.”  
That’s the same thing, Daisy wants to scream, a few days is exactly what a week is, but she doesn’t.   
“I’m glad I’m here”, she says.  
“He’ll be glad too”, May replies, smiling. 

Then, suddenly, Daisy can’t wait any longer.  
“Where can I find him?”  
May looks surprised. Or maybe she doesn’t. There’s something in her look Daisy doesn’t understand. “There’s a spot he really likes to go to.”

As May explains how to find it, Daisy is already trying to prepare her words but can’t. How would she know what to say? Something along the lines of “sorry Coulson, you’re not allowed to die, here’s another experimental drug to keep you alive”?   
May’s eyes follow her as she walks away determinedly, clutching her bag tight, her jacket falling against it with every step she takes.

It’s quite the walk, and before she finally recognizes Coulson’s silhouette in the distance, sitting on an abandoned boat on the beach, she starts crying twice, curses herself countless times for not doing anything sooner. For only realizing a few days ago what Coulson means to her, what he’s always meant to her. But that’s her, stupid Daisy, getting attached, watching from the shadows until it’s too late.  
Her pace quickens when she sees him. He’s looking the other way, but it’s unmistakeably him, and the familiarity of it makes her heart ache. She stumbles once, but manages to regain her balance before slowing down again so as not to startle him.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last one!

“Phil”, she says quietly.  
He immediately turns around, shocked but incredibly pleased at the same time. He almost jumps up to hug her as the bag slowly glides from Daisy’s hand.  
It takes her a moment to raise her arms, but she pulls him close, very close, hides her face in the crook of his neck. It’s very intimate, but it’s not until Coulson’s palm softly touches the back of her neck that she dares to hope it might be something more.  
“I thought I’d never see you again”, he says to her bare shoulder. She nods.  
“I was scared I wouldn’t make it in time”, she finally says.

They still don’t pull apart, and Daisy tries to be closer to him still, gently tightening her hug, her palm between his shoulder blades, resting against the soft fabric of his t-shirt.  
Only a moment later, she notices their synchronized breathing.  
“I don’t want to let go”, he says, and he’s obviously talking about the hug, but Daisy hears how his voice hints at something else, too.  
“You shouldn’t”, she says, and she hopes it sounds just as ambivalent.

They stay like that for another short while. Daisy feels his shoulders tremble slightly, and there are tears in her eyes as well. But now is not a good time for her to cry. She came here for a reason.  
“I brought you something”, she says, and Coulson’s arms slide down her side very slowly, like he’s reluctant to let this moment pass.  
“You’ll like it”, she says, already rummaging in her bag as his expression changes. When she turns back around, she’s surprised to see the look on his face. Like he doesn’t believe she’s here. Like she’s the best thing in the world.

“Here”, she says, handing him the book.  
“How nice”, he says, looking into her eyes for just that tiny moment too long before inspecting the cover.  
He suddenly gasps. “I know this copy!”

She smiles.  
“Have you been to the Retreat?”  
“No”, she says, her heart suddenly beating in her throat again.  
“You’ve – You’ve met Dr Banner?”  
“Yes. Bruce gave it to me. He sends his greetings. He says this is one of your favourite books.”  
“It – It is.” He flicks through it, a fleeting smile on his lips. “I’ve read this so many times.”  
“Me too”, Daisy says, and the same surprise Banner saw on her face is now in Coulson’s eyes.  
“I didn’t know you liked it too”, he says, very pleased. “Thank you.”

“There’s something else”, Daisy says, reaches back into the bag, pulls out the small basket.  
“Careful”, she says as Coulson goes for the lid. They sit down on the bench as he peeks into the basket. The little mouse’s head comes up, and it makes Coulson chuckle.  
“A field mouse! How cute. Haven’t seen one of these in a long time. Where’d you find it?”  
Daisy’s shoulders drop, and she takes a deep breath, trying to steady herself, trying to keep it together. Of course, Coulson notices right away, puts his arm around her shoulders.  
“Daisy, are you okay?”

“I don’t want you to go”, she says.  
“Daisy, I – I made a deal.”  
“I don’t care about that deal”, Daisy counters. “It’s not fair. You’ve done so much for so many people. You don’t deserve to go like this.”  
He takes one of her hands in his. “I’m here on borrowed time”, he says. “I’ve lived longer than I was supposed to. I’ve had my share. I’ve – I’ve done what I could.”  
“Don’t you wish you could stay?”, she asks, lips quivering.

He sighs. “Of course I do. But it’s not right. And it’s – I’ve had my opportunity. I only regret that I didn’t make more of it.”  
She sits up straight. “But you’ve done so much. I – I owe everything to you.”  
His expression softens. “That’s not true, Daisy. You’re ... a miracle.”  
She rubs her eyes. “Coulson, I – I love you.”  
For a tiny moment, he freezes, as if he isn’t sure he’s actually heard her say it, as if he’s hoping for her words to mean something else.  
“I love you too”, he says, but it’s too easy, too comfortable.

“No, I mean – I’m in love with you”, she says, her heart beating so fast she’s almost sure he can hear it.  
That’s what does it, that’s what finally makes him cry. It’s not like Daisy’s never seen him shed a tear, but this is different. She’s afraid she’s said something she shouldn’t have, but he pulls her into another hug, not wanting her to see him like this.  
“I wish I’d known”, he croaks, and even though he doesn’t say it, Daisy understands that he’s been in love with her, too.

“It’s not too late”, she whispers after a moment, pulling him closer.  
“Daisy, I’ve got – Melinda says it won’t be more than a few days.”  
She nods. “There’s a story”, she says, pulling away gently.  
And she tells him everything; how she’s gone to find Banner, how they’d discussed every possibility, how he’d asked Shuri to help them out; how Bruce had returned with the little mouse one morning.

He stays quiet for a while after she’s finished, briefly looks at the sea before them.  
“Are you – are you saying this to make things easier for me?”  
“Phil, I’m serious. This is not – I would never have come here with a ... placebo.”  
He holds his breath, one or two remaining tears rolling down his cheek.  
“You’ve seen the mouse”, she whispers, in an attempt to make things light, and it makes him chuckle. “No side effects”, she adds.  
He swallows, but then the smirk returns. “So you’ve brought me rodent potion?”  
“Exactly”, Daisy deadpans, and it makes him laugh so wholeheartedly it almost breaks her heart, thinking about how long it’s been since she’s last heard him laugh like this, but she joins in.

He then suddenly brings his palm up to her cheek, looking into her eyes. She holds his gaze.  
“You’re sure?”, he asks, and she knows he’s not talking about the serum.  
“ _Yes_ ”, she says, and she would never have guessed it was going to be as simple as that.  
Very slowly, giving her time to reconsider, he leans in. When he finally kisses her, that’s it for Daisy, she can’t stop her tears from falling, but she doesn’t stop kissing him back. 

“Wow”, he says, smiling against her lips as they come up for breath. “I can die happily now”, he jokes, and she swats his arm lightly.  
“No excuses”, she says, and after meeting his eyes for a moment to check, she reaches into her bag one more time, producing the small box of vials.  
“I’ve got three”, she says. “But one should do the trick.”  
He stares at the blue fluid in her hands, then at her, like he can’t believe this is happening, like she could still turn out to be a hallucination. But she smiles at him the way only Daisy has ever smiled at him, and he tells himself this is the one thing he’s always lacked, the one thing he’s been telling himself he could never have.

Daisy unpacks a syringe, pulls the fluid from the vial into it.  
Again, she looks into his eyes to make sure this is okay with him, that this is what he wants, even if it would break her heart to see him decline her offer.  
He nods. “Don’t be afraid”, he says as he’s carefully pulling up his shirt to reveal a gruesome pattern on his chest where his scars were, like a black star branching out everywhere from his heart.  
“I’m a dead man, Daisy”, he says, and she’s not sure if he’s joking or if he doubts the serum’s effects. She approaches with the syringe, waits for one last approval.

“Can you kiss me again before you do it?”, he asks, and he’s meant for it to sound playful, but Daisy hears he’s scared. “Just to be safe,” he whispers against her lips as she kisses him, extending her arm to make sure the needle doesn’t come near him yet, tugging at his lower lip. She’s positively making out with him, and after a moment, she feels him relax a little.  
“Okay”, he says, even though she can tell he didn’t want to stop, suddenly serious again. He pulls his shirt up a little further still. “Right in the center”, he says, almost bitter, and it feels weird to ask Daisy to stab a syringe into his heart, but oddly enough, this is what’s supposed to save him. The symbolism isn’t lost on Daisy, either, and she winks at him before she does it. Holds his hand and gets it over with.

A moment passes where neither of them moves, then suddenly, Coulson starts trembling, his hand clenching hers, and Daisy’s afraid something might have gone terribly wrong.  
“Are you in pain?”, she asks, and it’s a stupid question, but it’s the only way to know.  
“No,” he says, his voice a little shaky, “but I can feel it spread.”  
Then, a moment later, Daisy can see it too, sees the serum run through Coulson’s veins, painting them blue as it travels through his system, and it looks frightening, but Daisy clutches his other hand, too. 

Then suddenly, Coulson takes a deep breath, leans back against the bench, closing his eyes for a moment, the blue colour leaving him again. Daisy isn’t sure what to do, doesn’t move.  
She’s this close to panicking when he finally says, “Could you check?”, nodding towards his chest. Daisy pulls the fabric up again and uncovers – his scars looking exactly the way she remembers, the way they’ve always looked, the way they’re supposed to look.  
He opens his eyes, and Daisy’s expression is so joyous that he sits up at once, tugs at his shirt to see for himself.  
“Oh, Daisy!”, he exclaims, pulling her close, clasping her to his heart in a tight embrace as he feels her smile against his bare skin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for reading through this whole mess! ♥


End file.
